Outside the Blog -- by Jon Young

Dear President Waite, President Cragun, and President Jannuzzi,

Thank you so much for your letter concerning Peter. We've been very blessed with the generosity and kindness of many ward members. Many have been compassionate listeners who share our grief and this has done more than anything else to bring us comfort and bolster our faith. We are happy with the success of his recent surgery that allowed his lungs to expand enough to breath without a machine forcing air into a hole in his neck. The hole was closed a few weeks ago and he is now breathing on his own. Last Sunday was his first day at church and there will be many more to come.

There are still more difficulties for our family to go through. His digestion has not worked properly since the surgery and a hernia in his small intestine was discovered. He seems to be in a lot of pain lately for a reason we don't know. Furthermore, he will need to go through the ordeal of his chest surgery again as his implants cannot grow with him.

While we do suffer emotionally, we also consider it a privilege to have such a unique experience where we have a great opportunity to apply the values and principles of the Gospel. We know that in some rare situations it is not very clear which values and principles best apply. When a child like Peter is born with a chromosomal defect leading to blindness, severe mental retardation, and too numerous to recite (or even know of) expensive medical problems (about $1M so far and counting), the initial emotional tendency to do all you can to fight for the life of your child isn't sufficient justification for actually doing it. We have an entire human family to be concerned for and a limited amount of effort we can all physically apply to serve our needs. Are large amounts of these efforts best spent on a child who, to the best of our knowledge, has already fulfilled all he can do in this life by the plan of salvation?

When seeking to find others to help shoulder the burden of the situation, we've been troubled to some extent from well-meaning ward and family members who are similarly troubled by our seeming lack of caring. I'm sure there is a lesson there for both people seeking to share a burden and those hearing one. Regardless, we are confident knowing that we are doing our best to think, pray, and receive divine inspiration to do what is best for Peter and everyone. We take comfort in the policy of the church handbook:

21.3.8 Prolonging Life
"When severe illness strikes, members should exercise faith in the Lord and seek competent medical assistance. However, when dying becomes inevitable, it should be seen as a blessing and a purposeful part of eternal existence. Members should not feel obligated to extend mortal life by means that are unreasonable. These judgments are best made by family members after receiving wise and competent medical advice and seeking divine guidance through fasting and prayer."

Dying has been inevitable for Peter since day one without heroic and expensive medical efforts. Given our intimate knowledge of Peter's condition and the needs of others, we continue to make the best judgments we can. We continue to find strength and joy in the association of the spirit, family, and fellow church members who share our burden and lighten our load.

Sincerely,

Jon Young